Kimorn:tyrone

This is something that one of kimorns friends wrote for me to put up on my blog I will say something at the end.

I am a second time offender and I made one of my greatest mistakes ever. I went home unprepared and when I went out there I started to commit crimes cause I was not ready to be let out in the world. Can you imagine that I am saying that I was not ready to go home and be out in the world you may say that I was insititutionalize uh? But it is quite the contrary I am just being real. My family has basically written me off and said that I have taken them down that road too many times and was not goin 2 ride down the rough road of incarceration no more. I dont blame them,so what i learned from my mistake was that I should prepare,but a high price to pay for the lesson that I learned. The game is not mean to be told it is meant to be sold uh? Well I paid the ultimate price, first my family abandoned me, then I turned to drugs then my money abandoned me,then my freedom..That one didnt abandon me it I gave it away for nothing...Well I am in Prison with a life sentence and I have recently put an ad on the internet to see if someone out there can help me carry the load of this heavy sentence...But time will tell but for right now I have already understood that it was me and the system that was created to rehabilitate did not help me in the ways that I needed. I know that I need to help myself so I have been so much reading and research to fight my case and go home and reclaim my freedom...Thank you for listening to one mans outcry...

And now what I want to say..just recently I read an online article about an elderly man who had been released from prison after spending most of his life in there, last year he had committed bank robbery and why? Just so he can go back to his "home" in prison. I think it's such a sad thing that these guys go through that. And what Tyrone is saying is just something everyone else must feel, I think that it's all due to the lack of preparation to help the convicted to get into the real world. Some prisons so I've heard do have programmes that help them to prepare before their release but some don't.  What hope for the future do they have if the justice stysem over there or anywhere else won't help them to better themselves,won't help to give them reason to do better? I think I'm saying the right thing. One thing they do need I know for sure is a support system. Even though they've done wrong in the past doesn't mean they won't do wrong again and again. A lot of people may not have faith in them and that's why they do not have faith in themselves. Because they feel no one cares,no one believes in them, I think having a penpal a friend to talk to though will help them to move in the right direction and when times are tough on them they can have someone to turn to talk to, to ask for advice when they need it.

Thanks for reading

Rough week for my guys.

Well jarrell was locked down for 4 days mis last week or something like that. I had a feeling they were locked down though because Lawrence phoned me then said he had to go because they were calling for lock down.  When jarrell came back he had said that during the four day lock down someone had hung themselves in their cell. 

Today/yesterday I got a message from Steve saying they could be getting locked down as well cause something was going down in the morning that guys were being carried out on stretchers and quite a lot were put in the "hole" but then he was relieved that they weren't getting locked down as things calmed down that he didn't want to be locked down.

My thoughts:
It's not every day that I hear stuff like this, this was the first time I've been told something like this by jarrell, I could tell from the tone of his message that it saddened him as much it did me. I can't imagine what it's like to be on lockdown knowing that something like that could be happening anywhere anytime or several times during that lockdown, anywhere in the building.
What it must be like to live in a world behind walls where crime death and murder still happen and possibly on a daily basis. Maybe but I hope not. Something jarrel said to me was "never try to say that you wish you could put yourself in my shoes to understand what a lock down is because Jamie you don't want to know" he said that because I often say to my guys I wish I can put myself In their shoes so I can understand what they go through everyday what they experience every day...in a way I'm already pin ny own lockdown I don't go out often...I dont talk to many people.

I think when it comes to Steve, that he is in a much worse prison. Well he's in the second worse, where the house the worse of the worse in America and he's only ever been in the worse ones..for the past few weeks all I've heard is how the coppers are going from cell to cell looking for either drugs or booze. He's told me the whole situation in that possible lockdown. And it's quite sad really all on race, from what I've heard from any of my guys is that everything has to do with race when it comes to fights. Like Steve said as well the coppers had waited long enough to get to one guys cell, waited to long only for there to be a dozen guys being thrown into the "hole" and half of the guys not thrown into the hole to be taken away on stretchers.
How they survive how Steve keeps a strong his on his shoulders I don't know, but I'm glad that well that I was virtually there to distract steves mind from what was taking place I say that because he told me it was happening as he was writing it to me....it's sad really....

Anyway on a good note. I got two batches of Steve's poems which Scott has to type out and edit on the computer then once we get back on the net (im using my phone to post this) then Scott can start making a layout for Steve's book hopefully. We've come to an agreement that Steve wants it to be called "poems from behind the walls" he's iffy though about what kind of poems people would be interested thinking that if they were poems about drugs or prison people won't be Interested in them...but one of his poems 'let it be" had made me cry as it was based around how he felt when he was on drugs. So I'm actually encouraging him to send me more like that. He's a good guy and a good friend.

And jarrell has managed to get some guys involved with my blog who are working in things. One guy in general his name is Thomas has given me permission to take some of his drawings off of facebook to post them up on my blog. Trying to find his poems on there as well.
Hes managed to get Brandon to draw me something! Even after I've blocked him lol he's still drawn something for me even though jarrell had to talk him around a little bit lol. So I will have to send him a thank you card:) so yeah that's it lol.

Anyway until most likely next week;)

Love and light.
Jamie

Kimorn: Michael

Michael...This one was interesting...

His take: was that immigration was changing and the countries take on the matter was more stern than it was. He also had great concerns about the money being spent in the wrong places cause they house people and give them more time for re-entry. That dont make sense it would be cheaper to send them right back. But at the same time thinking realistically they have to have some kind of system to deter the re-entry of a immigrant due to the fact that if it was no punishment then they would just return to do wrong but there in lies the problem cause most people from other countries dont come here to do wrong just a few they come here to work and send $ home, so that is helpful to the economy cause americans dont want to do labor work. They feel that it is beneath them and dont want to do it so they have the work force come from other countries and leave when the work is done for example the aggricultural industries use all types immigrants who get papers to work for a season but they dont have rights...Well his take on the situation is that here you have an inmate who came here to work and he comes to the federal system and then he is treated as if he is a common criminal and he did nothing but be in the wrong place and the wrong time and officers treat them bad...And look down on them. So he feels that is a grave injustice...That was his take on it.

Kimorn: Donte

Donte...An inmate from Washington D.c. I spoke to had this to say...About his thoughts on the living conditions on prison. He stated that "the most radical changes have come to the pennitentary's and that it comes through the form of budget cut's for education and translates to more security and effective ways of subduing an inmate who causes problems and the training cost more to teach officers. So that means less for the inmate and more for the officer's to learn how to move in a more violent environment. Well he told me that this method of control did not add up, while they cut education and the other things that make for a person who enters society more likely to come back and do it all over again with more time, it seems the purpose of rehabilitation is to make a person correct his ways and teach a person to survive by educating them that the return rate of inmates are at a all time high cause system is spitting more people to the streets and they cant survive in the new world of america and return because they have to revert to doing wrong. That was his thoughts about changes that are taking place in the system...Prison is changed and not for the best..

I thought this to be very interesting!
It's amazing what these guys think and what they can put together when it comes to their thoughts and really it's a bit heart breaking. I just told Scott that the other day www.writeaprisoner.com had shared a news post saying how an elderly man one on his 70's had robbed a bank last year just to be put back into prison because he found that to be his home. "he wanted to go back home" I believe they said. He had only ever know the prison life even after his family had apparently baught him a wife? And a house, he had lived like a hermit, it's gotta be very hard for someone to see that (prison) as their home and only home. I sometimes worry about the guys I talk to because some are in for life yet they are up for parole. How will they be, when they get back out into society (if they do) will they be able to adjust? The thing is it's not only over in America it's everywhere a lot of people commit crimes only to be put back I to prison or jail to live a simpler yet more structured life. No responsibilities no bills to pay life life worries or stresses that come with living in society...but it's very sad, and yet they system over there or over here don't can't and won't prepare the inmates for what they will be returning to..
Please please leave your thoughts.

Until the next time lol

Jamie x

The help of friends.

Ok so past few weeks have been a complete and total chaos lol.
  

I've had just requests up requests for some of my photography, so sent the last batch off last week. Raphael got his at the beginning of last week with a long ass letter lol, he said my photography was like professional! Which is the biggest compliment I've had with my photography:) Steve should get his letter this week, which I know he will be happy with.

I've had an idea of getting Steve's poems published online so he's sent out his third batch poems to me on Saturday so I can't wait! Going to feel popular this weekend! He didn't think I was serious until I braught it up, so if his poems or his book gets published then he said we can go 50/50 on the profits I will be opening a separate account for the profits to go into and then when he gets out I will be sending it all to him. I told him that I would be like an agent but I told him it was up to him if he wants to pay all I wanted was his help to get his buddies to give me something to put up on my blog. It was very sweet because he gave my email to his cellmate and he said "I told him to be nice because I'm protective of you" I thought that was really sweet.

Anyway I could possibly decide to stop talking to Lawrence. Only because since Scott and I have decided to help with his book he's turned really bossy. Like he told Scott that he would pay him which hasn't been happening and now he's only gone and started asking him or more like ordering him to look into crsp like basketball game times and ordering/telling me to look up horoscopes or whatever on certain star signs and we never really talk anyway he only says a few lines and I prefer to have more than a few lines to reply to. Plus the fact that when Scott had send him a message, Lawrence had phoned me asking if Scott was home and the minute I said no he started going off on one about Scott.....I had even told him several times it was between them two and I was seriously ready to hang up on him until he said "dont let this get in the way of our friendship" and I can only think what friendship do we have? It's not a meaningful one. He's pushing me around and I'm not going to allow him to do that anymore..

Ok so one of my other guys Kimorn got a few guys involved 5 to be exact but so far he's only written put for me what two have had to say. What's on their thoughts and such these will go on separate posts. I also have Steve's cellmates story.

So yeah that's pretty much it lol I will also be posting Steve's poems up when I get them which I hope I should get them between Thursday-friday....

Love ya'll

Jamie x

Letters and inspiration.

Hey guys:) well today has been busy I think. I am going to be busy tonight as I have loads of letters to write! I have to write to about 5 of my guys.

When I was writing Steven's letter last night I had realized something as I started to write a bit down. There's a little story and a bit of a creepy moment for me lol.
 
You see Steven is a practicing Mormon. He hasn't Been baptized yet but hopes to be whenever he shal be released.  Anyway I come from a Mormon raised family lol, pretty much when I was younger I had always been placed in and out of foster care because well, the mother in Canada couldn't handle me I was always the one the middle child to be tossed away constantly. At one point the mother had told me that I was the black sheep in the family...anyway my aunt holly was pretty much my best friend I had always gone to her. A second mother to me, anyways when I was placed in crisis nursery she had given me this card or a picture of a hump back what jumping out of the water and on the back of the card she wrote a passage from the scriptures.

Anyway I got this card from Steven. Pretty much the same picture and on the back he typed out a passage from the scriptures that says:

"but ask now the beasts, and they shall teach thee; and they shall tell thee:  or speak to the earth, and it shall teach thee and the fishes of the sea shall declare unto thee. Who knoweth not in all these that the hand of the lord hath wrongth this? In whose hand is the soul of every living thing and the breath of all mankind. Job 12:7-10"

I found it a bit weird and freaky how that had happened. He knows I dont believe much in the church anymore that I have my own beliefs and he respects that. As well as I respect his beliefs. I find it amazing how the people the men and women behind the walls can seek faith and hope and prayer in such confined spaces. The guys I talk to the guys I write to all share different beliefs....but yet even though some don't believe in that kind of stuff they still have that hope and belief and faith in them...

Anyway I've written Steven a letter I've written Matthew a letter I gotta write Guillermo a letter as not heard back from him yet!  I have to print out some of my pictures of England that I've taken because a lot of them are asking to see lol.

So that's it lol lots of letters to write pictures to print lol envelopes to write on lol .. by the time I get them sent off I will have a few more letters to write....I spend most of my nights writing letters to the point I fall asleep writing them! I do enjoy it:)

Anyway that's it for now. Hope you guys enjoy the beauty of the card that Steven has made for me!  I actually thought it was a penguin lol until Scott says "what is that? Is that a whale? Very impressive!"  Lol then me "ooooh that's what it is lol" but I love it. What do u guys think?

Until next time.

Jamie x