Lots of letters to write

I got quite a few letters today! Well technically I got two lol, I got the last set of poems from Steve and a letter from Eric which is someone new I am talking to now:) he's a real artist. I will be sending him some pictures my family,Darren,Scott and myself and one of my dad as he can take two or multiple pictures and put them together on paper. I hardly have any pictures of my dad and myself so I have asked him to draw a picture of me and my dad together so in a way I can see how we would look now although my dad will look the same as he did in 2005.  He is very talented! I have seen some of his work and I have saved some of the pictures I've seen to my phone so you can see what his work is like. It's funny really because he's quite an artist, if you go to www.theblackdovemovie.com you will be able to hear the two songs he had done for this movie that premieres In august. If u click on music then click on 'mack bone' those two songs are his, I personally like the second one. He's a sound dude and so positive! So I'm looking forward to seeing the art work he's gonna do for me which I will obviously get it framed :P oh yeah he also recently just had his book of poems released which u can get here : http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/s/ref=is_s_ss_sh_0_0?k=a+book+of+rubies+and+pearls&sprefix=

Then I received my fourth letter from Steven in Texas. It was a nice long letter. How long it takes him to type out 6-7 page letter, he said about 2-3 hours! I really have to wonder why he doesn't write them lol, I myself prefer to hand write rather than type my letters out it would do my hands in. I enjoy his letters a lot. I'm slowly getting to know him more and more but this time there was more talk about the differences between prisons in Texas and federal prisons as I had asked him about that in my last letter to him.

I have to say, I've got a lot of letters to reply too lol. There's one that I got from Raphael couple weeks ago telling me how he's being released in 11 months time! He wanted more time but they denied it and instead are putting him in the halfway house, he did explain that being in a halfway house is worse than being in prison I believe that majority of people that go to a halfway house end up going back to prison because they just haven't got the strength to be stronger than what they are. It's sad really.

Then I've got to reply to Matthew crabtree's letter lol I got two of then actually the two I received on the same day. It took longer for him to get my letters as they transferred him to another place so they had to divert my letters to that other address. I have to reply to shuans letter which was quite sad really:( he was explaining to me how the accident happened with his wife. It's very heart breaking. He did write something for me to put up on my blog. Which I will put up soon, you can sooooo see the pain as you read it. It's really heartbreaking very sad.
I have to send "silent"s pictures back and I have to write to Thomas lol, so yeah I have to get my groove back on lol....

I am still waiting for my story to be published in "the sun" newspaper, I'm very nervous about it ... But at same time I am very excited about it lol.

Anyway until next time

Jamie

A poem by jarrell

Ok so here's one of Jarrells poems I actually really like this one I think it is my favorite! I feel the emotion in it...

   "social networking"
  If you did I do now,Know how. Try and figure out,
This way up out this matrix.
I been told I'ma zombie in the fold
With a master file.
Illegitimate nigga with no child?
Then what's the fuss?
A kingmaker with no living trust
I'm just a bust.
Half naked as above so below
Righteous see, the bodies underflow.
Where the private lies the
Public don't know.
Chattell,carcass flies
Die secrets die.
Don't go baby don't go.
Check the r+b flow while Frankenstein steal mo
Nine millimeters - - -  - - ----
-Jarrell allen-

Appreciation at it's best:D

It's been a hectic few weeks! A lot has been going on, I've been getting ny story sorted out for the news paper "the sun" through press association and I'm super excited about it! It just feels too real! Something I've been trying to get into the paper or a magazine since last year is finally starting to take place! I just had the read back for my story and she had made it sound soooooo beautiful! After the photo shoot in London and now the read back I think it's by-far one of my accomplishments that have been achieved!

I have had nothing but support from my guys jarrell and steve, Steve is pretty much my biggest fan lol as he says but I know the others are as well!

Jarrell keeps telling to to shoot for the moon pretty much just keep at it :) Raphael is excited I think they all are excited for me as they all know how passionate I am about this! A goal really:)

Anyway I had sent thank you cards to jarrell, Brandon and "silent" last week which they got last night, I was a bit worried that they wouldn't give the cards to jarrell as everything was just in a big envelope and only addressed to jarrell lol. To say the least all of them were surprised well mainly jarrell and silent. So jarrell told me that silent was surprised and hasn't really said much except for "this is for me?" And of course Brandon had said "she apologized for blocking me" lol hopefully Brandon and I can bury the hatchet now or more so Brandon lol. With silents reaction, I can only think...does he actually have anyone who writes to him??? I think I might write him a letter. I hope it won't bother jarrell. Because when I told jarrell that I write to others it kind of rained on his parade :( I will only for now on say I write to others if I am asked instead of blurting it out.

It feels good though to know that I'm making someone's heart smile it really does, it makes me smile more to be told that. I might send cards more often :p lol..

I have got a drawing from Brandon to post up and some of jarrells poems. I will do the poems on a daily basis and I will post the picture up now :)

I've got so far 43 poems From Steve for his book which hopefully we can start soon!   One I do want to share. But later on. One day at a time eh!

Speak soon:)
Jamie

The drawing is from Brandon I think it's sooooo beautiful! Would love to have a tattoo like that lol..

Art by Alejandro anchondo

This is the art from one of jarrells buddies that he had asked to take part of the blog:). He is nicknamed "silent" and with his pictures of his art he had written a small piece for me to put up, I will also put up a picture of this piece he has written:) I really thing he's got some beautiful hand writing for a Latino? I think he's Latin lol....anyway here is what he's said.

" Art is an expression of self that can only be understood and admired by one whom is in love with the uniqueness and utter joy of individuality in the heart. That is to say, the peace within ourselves, but not to be confused with an ephemeral state of curiosity in something alien to one's perception in the aesthetic realm of creativity, like a piece of artwork "....
                      P.  Alejandro
                              Anchondo #06911-180

U.s.p allenwood.

Well written and well said. Ha there is one word in there that I never knew existed and so obviously didn't know the meaning of it lol "ephemeral" .

Jarrell had told me as well requested by silent that I send him back the photos. Which I will be doing this weekend, anyway I had asked him why? And he then told me it's a way to keep their art in perfect form I believe. I may have to ask him to explain it again.....

Anyway enjoy:)

Photo 1, letter

Photo 2, "smoking man pen & ink Stevie ray von"

Photo 3, "portrait of child"

Photo 4, "portrait of woman"

Mothers day card from jarrell

So jarrell had sent me some stuff in the post last week that had sent me over the moon. I was ecstatic but this is what caught me off guard, I had opened another envelope inside the big one and found this mother's day card in it. As I know Brandon draws but jarrell doesn't I had assumed it was from Brandon. But when I said about it to jarrell he had told me it was from him that he had gotten one of his friends inside to do it for him! Absolutely stunning. You would never be able to to find a card like this anywhere and it's soooo special to me knowing that it"s the only kind out there.
    I had no idea that he was sending me a card from him. So I was really blown away by it, I believe I was actually shaking lol but I was also shaking from the other work he had send to me, which I will share in another post tomorrow.

I love these guys these guys are soooo talented and they don't know it. I don't see then as penpals or inmates I see them as my friends MY SUPPORT SYSTEM. They bring so much joy into my days when I'm feeling down. I know I can talk to them about whatever is on my mind, that they won't judge me for the things I say or do.... I have soooo much to thank them for, for just being there for me.
I love them like I love my friends, and I am sooo grateful to them for their help in trying to get stuff put up on my blog.

Thank you to the guys behind the art work and the poetry, behind the letters and the voice and the pictures.

Another card from Steven.

So I had finally received a reply from Steven and along with it was this beautiful card that he had made for me. It kinda caught me off guard and I really hope he continues to send me cards! I'm so amazed at how talented these guys are! I really enjoyed his letter although it was mostly religious talk about the church and such but I was amazed really because in his letter I sent to him I had asked if he talks to anyone else he said he does one is an 83 year old woman and a few others who are members of LDS's.
It was like the other day I had asked a close friend of mine in the church what the church's take is on writing inmates and she said she's got no idea but she knows a few members who do write inmates over here as well as go to visit them. I would think really that having an inmate having a penpal would be therapeutic in some way, it helps to give them strength I believe and some sort of hope that they will not be judged by others, at least the ones who write to them. For me though it helps, it outs a smile on my face and I hope and wish I could get something in the post every day lol because when I don't it's like oooooh no mail:( it's something I look forward to hearing from my guys as well as Steven, it's a good feeling all in all :D

Anyway until tomorrow.
I would like to know what you guys think of this card:)

A poem by thomas and then some

THEN I WOKE UP

I wish my words could metamorphosis
I would speak of a fist to hit you with
just so you can feel a tenth of my pain
I drowned in lakes, you dance in drops of rain
some things never change, no comprehende ?
though the world constantly moves without me
how could you hurt me after all of these years
I am dehydrated from all of the tears
all of my fears have come to reality
though I am awake nightmares consume me
how do I shake these horrible dreamscapes
eyes wide open and still no escape
I thought our fate was to be forever
I didn't know it was to be never
I sever all that bonds us together
not even do I wish to remember
this pain is sharp it feels like broken glass
who know you could fly with angels and crash
I never knew bulletproof could be so weak
that you could leave so many holes in me
I bleed, probably for eternity
your love is lava it just keeps burning me
really hard to see when I've been so blind
a broken watch, this thing is a waste of time
I lost my mind, put my heart in a rhyme
why is misery easier to find
why are you able to be doing fine
when all I'm able to do is this time
why do I let you get me all choked up
when your love is but a dream
and then I woke up

-T.G. Thornton

And a haiku poem he had written for his mother. This I would like to share as he's put it up on facebook to go with his haiku to his mom for mothers day and I felt I should share it now I have his permission to use anything he puts onto his facebook page. It's something that moved me as it's something coming from the heart and It really tugs on my heart strings cause it does make you think:
Mother's Day is coming up soon. I usually do not make big deal's of the holidays for various reasons. However, it is most easily summed up in saying that there just simply are no holidays in prison. No reason to celebrate. No one with whom to celebrate with. Only reminders of what one is missing. Nevertheless, my mother- as I am sure all of yours- deserves recognition for her deeds. My mother has watched me get arrested, convicted, and repeatedly sent away for the passed 26 yrs. I think back and wonder just how heart wrenching that must have been and continues to be for her. How she had to sit by idly while her youngest baby broke laws and was punished for it. She must have been conflicted between defending my good deeds and admonishing my bad ones. (And for the record my good deeds outweigh my bad deeds by 7 fold).
There are times I know she must be blaming herself for my shortcomings all the while trying to take pride in my achievements. I can never know her pains in raising me because I have always been on the outside looking in at her. I have always been harsh in my judging her ways of raising me and never did I stop rebelling. I demanding things I knew she could not afford. I hated men she tried to provide as role models for me. I threw fits when she refused to give me more freedoms than I deserved but when I think back on it and look through an honest eye, my mother did not only the best she could but the best any one could have done with a hardnosed case like myself. I have never once admitted to my mother the crimes I have committed but she has always known my guilt and yet her love for me has never waned. She has always been hopeful that I would see the error in my ways and be the constructive and positive person she raised and knows I can be. She has always loved me even when not doing so was easier. When my friends and family all stood up and left the building my mother remained in her seat stalwart and supportive. She has been my truest friend over the last 37 years. For that, I love her more than words can do justice. I have included the following haiku not only for my mother but for all mother's I am sure are just like her:
A MOTHER'S FLIGHT

Along the wings of
pure, tender, maternal love
she taught me it all

-T.G. Thornton

I think both are beautifully written so much talent going un-noticed.  I would also like to share something that Thomas had said to me the other day. It had really truly made my day and braught a huge smile to my face as what he had said meant Alot to me! So I thought I would share it with you all. Well the last half anyway.

" I will post some poetry for your benefit soon. Your blog sounds nice and needed. I wish you the best with that and thank you for giving a platform to those of us who otherwise would not have one. What you are doing is big for society as a whole and the artist as an individual. I commend your work."

Drawings and a message from Thomas Thornton

So a week or so ago I asked jarrell to ask his guys he gangs with if they would like to say something or share their art (poems/draeings) on my blog and maybe perhaps write something for it as well. So his friend Thomas Thornton has said I can pull his drawings and poems what I can find on facebool and post up on my blog, here is what he has said and I have to say he couldn't have said it any better than what he had. I will post his poem up on a seperate post. Thank you tom! But his drawings are here on this one. You truly are a talented guy! 

There is a basic human need for socialism. It is the very thing that makes us all human. We desire to reach out to our fellow man. We long for companionship and love. We sympathize and empathize with one another's plight. A friendship can be found is the most peculiar of places, too. The internet has helped propel that more than ever. In today's society we can find ourselves emailing, instant messaging, and texting with someone from opposite ends of the earth. More surprisingly, perhaps, is that we find we have a lot in common with our worldly counterparts. In those sort of relationships we are reminded of a simple song lyric that had a BIG meaning. It's a small world after-all. It truly is. You may think "What could I possibly have in common with a prisoner???" Well, if you have been following this blog and looking at the talent showcased here then you may be getting closer to the answer. EVERYTHING!!! Prisoners love, laugh, cry, long for something better, and miss family and friends. Do not be fooled by the propaganda of Hollywood that would have you all believe prisoners are big, burly, tattooed homosexuals out to crush the "fresh meat". I am neither big (6' 2" 189 lbs), burly (I look like a cross between El Debarge and Enrique Iglesias). I have no tattoos and I am very far from being gay. What I am trying to say here is that prisoners make mistakes just like you do. However, does that mean society should leave them unloved and out casted? I don't think so. I mean, you get a family puppy that uses the carpet for his personal bathroom. You punish him and tell him "No". But do you lock him in the basement and leave him there forever without ever connecting with him again and expect him to change into a great house dog? No. You'd expect him to die of hunger mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. So, What I am asking all of you here is to "pet the puppy" (prisoner) in our basement (prison system). Write him an email, or send him a letter. Let him know that even though he's pissed on societies carpet that we still love him and when he has served his punishment we will let him out to run and play in the yard so long as he craps on the neighbors lawn rather than our own. LOL. Please care. Thank you.

If anyone would like to write to him these are his details.

Thomas Thornton 08755-068

USP Allenwood

P.O. Box 3000

White Deer, Pa 17887

email: t.g.thornton@live.com

And his mother has started a petition for clemency if you could please sign it it would be great. As I have myself. You will see his story pretty much up on there. Thanks guys and take care.

http://www.change.org/petitions/president-of-the-united-states-clemency-for-my-son?share_id=zmMWVinoNu&utm_campaign=share_button_action_box&utm_medium=facebook&utm_source=share_petition

Kimorn:Henry.

Another one of kinorns friends who have taken their time to write this out for my blog. I have a lot of other stuff coming soon some art and poetry hopefully. Which I really can't wait. Anyway this guys name is henry.

I am from California, I have been introduced to gangs when I was young. My family was involved in gangs it is a way of living where I am from. I am a blood and I am 38 years old and I never knew anything outside the life of gangs until I came to prison. Now you may say that "really prison introduced the other side of life" I know that sounds so contradictory in the grand scheme of things right. Well one day I got into a fight with a guy in a rival gang and I was sent to the hole and in the hole, the conditions are terrible and you have to room with people that you normally would not so I had to adapt to that I met a guy who was a christian, he introduced me to Jehovah's witness's and I started to study the bible with him and it showed me that there were other things in the world, the things that we study have pictures but it is based on the bible and it shows me how to really be a better person...So I had to come to prison to learn that my way of life was not the way and jesus was the way, I hear people complain about prison all the time right, but you have to utulize the things that they sometimes dont tell you about and requires you have an open mind yeah they stand in opposition to you growing cause their business is to make sure you come back and have a bed for them to make money off of you. But with that being said I learned that you also posses tools that are not given to you by the prison system..So I used them and I am going home in 2more years and I have all the hope I need and I am going to make it out there now cause my outlook has turned from bleak to bright...Much respect for your time.. and your ear...